“People think that being alone makes you lonely, but I don’t think that’s true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.”  – Kim Culbertson

For some reason, being alone and feeling lonely has become synonymous with being single and this simply is not true.  Take it from someone who did not get married until she was 36.  They are two different things!

According to dictionary.com,

the  definition of alone is :  separate, apart or isolated from others

the definition of single is: only one in number, one only

There are plenty of people in relationships and even marriages who are alone –  emotionally, mentally and even physically – because they are with the wrong people. Many people are in love with the idea of marriage, but not their spouses. Some couples do not even appear to LIKE each other, let alone LOVE each other.  They spend as much time at work as they can because they do not want to go home to their significant other. Or when they are home, they are in separate rooms or doing separate things, taking separate vacations, making separate plans and eventually become separated, apart and isolated from the person who is supposed to love them the most. Yet, they do not want to be single. God forbid. Then they will really be lonely, right?

Although I was single for most of my life, I never felt “separate” or “apart” from others and certainly not “isolated” just because I was not romantically involved with someone at all times.  I was not alone. I always had my friends and family around me. I am not going to lie,  I felt an emptiness from time to time (I hated going to weddings by myself unless my other single girlfriends were there) but not loneliness, though I am sure that people assumed that because I was single, I had to be lonely.  But I really wasn’t.

Some people are alone by choice.  And they are perfectly happy.  Others choose to be alone until the find the person that will bring them happiness and contentment.  They are patient and wise.  We have all felt loneliness at one point or another in our lives.  But true loneliness is not about being alone.  And certainly not about being single.