Just friends? Is that possible?

Last night, my husband and I had dinner with one of my best friends and his fiancée.  Robert (as I will call him) and I have been friends for over 15 years. We met in our late 20s and have been through many ups and downs with our careers, the dating scene, families, friendships, moving and everything in between. And we have never ever crossed the line of friendship. Ever. Not a kiss. Not a touch, nothing more than a hug. Honestly.

We met through a mutual friend whom neither of us speak to anymore.  And we have abided by her strange demand that the two of us “not date.” Although we hit if off mainly because of our sick senses of humor, it never occurred to either one of us to date each other. We were more like a brother and sister right from the start.  I know many people think that it is simply not possible for a man and a woman, especially when they are single, to not hook up, but take it from me, it is.  No matter how drunk or depressed we were, we never did. He is a FRIEND to me and I am a FRIEND to him and despite what the media and TV shows portray, real friends don’t hook up.

My husband also had a close female friend and when we first starting dating, I remember him asking me if I believed that a man and woman could be friends without it being sexual. I said yes and he told me about his friend, Krissy, and then I told him about Robert.   When I met Krissy (at her wedding), I will be honest, I felt a little intimidated and wondered if it was true that they really never hooked up. But then I thought of Robert and me and knew that is was true.  They really were just friends.

So, is it possible for a man and woman to be just friends? The answer is YES.  Even when one or both of the opposite friends get married, the friendship should continue and grow.  I am so happy that my husband and friend get along extremely well and enjoy hanging out together.  In addition, I love his fiancée’ and think the four of us are great together.  It was a great dinner and I am looking forward to getting together again with our friends.

10 thoughts on “Just friends? Is that possible?

  1. Well…i mst say this is a wonderful post..Even, I agree wenever good frendz r male
    and female frendz…or they r best frendz …. ppl jst wonder…tat it just means one thing. But, we know that f’ship is f’ship…The f’ship is pure…wid no one trying 2 hook up..as between frendz nature may differ, likes & dislikes may differ..but wat matches is the trust , faith & commitment tat v vil stand by each other’s side wen required. ..A best frend shall not always b a life partner..& its very true..
    For some ppl u jst feel like frendz …for some like brother & sister… & thr is only one as life partner 🙂

  2. I admire your brevity. I am also happy for you that this arrangement has worked out, due to the four people involved being of one mind. That’s not always the case, unfortunately. I just posted on this subject myself and am going to try to edit it to a reasonable length. My post is too long, but that’s because there is a lot of emotion involved in the writing of it. I have very strong feelings on the subject for many good reasons. Anyway, your question is “Just Friends? Is it possible?” The obvious answer is ‘yes, it’s possible’. However, just because it’s possible does not mean it is possible for everyone. And just because it’s possible does not mean that everyone who calls another person his or her ‘friend’, is making an accurate assessment of the relationship. And just because it’s possible, does not mean that it’s always possible with every ‘friend’. And just because it’s possible for one person in the relationship, does not necessarily mean it’s possible for the other. Character is deeply involved in the subject of male/female friendships. Not everyone is honest.

  3. Thank you for your comment. You are absolutely right. It sounds like you were at the wrong end of the deal in a similar situation and I am truly sorry for that. I am sure that my situation is unique, but just wanted others to know that it really is possible. So many people, including many of my own friends and relatives, do not think that a man and woman can ever be platonic no matter what, but as you said, character plays a huge part in any good relationship. I just wanted to point out that it can be done…with the right person.

  4. Agreed. It’s possible. I’ve had close friends who are guys. Yeah, I may have gotten a visual of ‘what if’ once in a blue moon, but it REALLY is just friendship… good post 🙂

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